Listen and understand when they want to talk, even if the talk is negative. They are likely mourning many losses. Don’t imply they are whining or that they should “snap out of it.” They can’t. Your empathy is vital here. Try to put yourself into their place.
Remind them how important they are as a part of your own celebration and that of the entire family. Be especially carefol not to act like what you do for them is a duty. This can be tough, as your tired body language can show through. However, again, put yourself in their place. They may feel useless and burdensome. Remind them they are loved.
Holiday cards often bring bad news, and diminish in quantity. Often cards bring news of illness or death, and they may be very aware of the people they don’t hear from. So, help them write their own cards. They can use this connection with life-long friends.
Help them see that you are trying to simplify the holidays in order to bring back the real meaning of our celebrations. Let them know you are trying to ignore the hype that has increased over the years. Remind them that they taught you that it’s people who count, and thank them for that.
Check with your parents’ spiritual home. Visitors, can visit or call your parent or parents at home or in an assisted living community. These people undergo considerable training that provides them with tools to listen compassionately and creatively. This can go a long way toward helping with depression over the holidays.
Decorate their home or room in stages, presenting cherished ornaments for Christmas or a menorah for Chanukah at intervals so there is something to look forward to. By the way, electric menorahs are best. Check with their rabbi for help.
Bring traditional baked goods or treats regularly for your elders and their friends to share.
Call your elders’ friends and see if they can come to a party.
Make their dinner table special. Whether your parents are at home or in assisted living, try to make the table festive with some appropriate colors and themes.
Spend time with them. This is the most important thing you can do. Look at holiday photos or videos with them and leave them photos in a handy place so they can walk down memory lane when they are alone. Play music. Listen to them reminisce. Your time is precious to you. You likely have a spouse, children and others who need you. However, your time is the most valuable gift you can give your elders during this holiday. Do what you can without stressing yourself beyond your limits. Your being somewhat relaxed is also important to your elders. Remember that you won’t reach perfection and you won’t please everyone all of the time. Your best efforts will be good enough.

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George Starkesen

“The best part of The Arbors are the people, the programs and the independence. I take daily walks around the neighborhood”

Doris Crotty

“I like the programs offered, they keep me busy and engaged. I love living here”

Dolores McCrone

“I’ve made The Arbors my home and I am very content”

Josephine Foschino

“I love making new friends and enjoying life”

Gladys Bischoff

“I love my beautiful room and all my friends”

Diane

“The life of a caregiver is truly very difficult, and with no training, I’m just a daughter, I made it work, but it got to be too much. It was a very difficult decision to have my mom move here. The folks here made my transition very easy, very helpful, very friendly, the staff is great. It was just a real comfort to me when I left. I felt that my mom was in really good hands. I have such peace of mind knowing that my mom is being well taken care of at The Arbors.”

Tom

“You can go home and sleep at night knowing your loved one is being taken care of. I am grateful to call The Arbors home for my father-in-law.”

Joan

“Living at The Arbors has changed my life completely. I am in a new world. When I started to fall last year, and had to be rushed to the hospital, I was scared. I didn’t want to leave my home. But I’ve made a lot of friends here. It’s a big family. Arbors makes it very comfortable for me. The staff are great, they would take you to the moon if they could. I say my prayers every night and thank God for finding this place for me.”

Elaine

“I love my apartment at The Arbors. It’s just enough space for me to relax. I spend my days socializing with my new friends in the shared spaces, so my home actually got bigger, not smaller.”

Helen

“Make new friends, but keep the old. Some are silver and some are gold…Over eight years, I’ve made a lot of friends, new ones, old ones, and I’ve enjoyed all of them immensely. I guess coming into a place like this, you wonder who’s going to be a friend, but then you find so many friends, whether they’re residents or staff. My favorite part about The Arbors is the people that I’ve met, they take good care of me.”

Providing an all-inclusive nurturing, supportive, and active environment that fosters independence yet offers assistance when needed.

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