Many negative feelings and difficult situations can be alleviated by starting the conversation early and talking often about what’s coming down the road for aging loved ones. Starting the conversation can be difficult for sure, but approaching it a piece at a time and conducting a series of conversations over a span of weeks or months may help. Starting the conversation before a medical or emotional crisis transpires allows families to take time.

Tips For Starting The Conversation About Assisted Living

Plant the seed.
Don’t approach your loved one as if you’ve already made the decision. Just mention that there are options that could make life easier – and much more enjoyable!

Focus on the Positives.
Highlight the positives of a potential move to senior living rather than focusing on any negatives. Don’t make the conversation about their limitations. “Mom, you shouldn’t drive. Dad, you can’t climb a ladder anymore.” That will only remind someone they were once vital and energetic but now seeing limitations. Those are very difficult things to come to grips with. Make the conversation about possibilities and supportiveness. Instead, present senior living as something that makes their life better. No more shoveling snow. Meals available when you don’t feel like cooking. The security of on-site health care if and when you need it. If they object, be understanding. Remember, no one likes to admit their limitations.

Ask if your loved one feels lonely.
One of the biggest upsides to moving to assisted living is the big increase in social stimulation. Things like community dining and activities can be a big help if a senior is feeling lonely.

Ask if your loved one wants help.
…with housekeeping, laundry, running errands or other daily chores. They might be struggling in silence and hoping you’ll offer or find them some help.

Watch for a “Teachable Moment”.
Did Mom fall, but escape getting hurt badly – this time? Use this as an opportunity to make a change before the next incident narrows her options down. You may want to wait a day or two and say something like, “Wow, that was a close call. Once you’re feeling better maybe we can stop by an assisted living center that we pass all the time.”

Don’t push it unless you consider it an emergency.
It’s so hard to wait when you know it is what your loved one needs and would want if they knew more about it. If your loved one shares that they are lonely during conversation, this is another great time to tell them about how much life can be better in assisted living.

Stress the safety aspects of being in a supportive environment.
Let them know there is always someone there to help them and that they will never feel alone.

Be sensitive to your loved ones feelings.
Leaving a home where he or she has lived with a partner, raised their kids and once had friends amongst their neighbors is emotionally difficult, so be empathetic. The truth is they will carry their memories in their heart wherever they go but, the house has become too much to manage.